This is Amanda Blake Waller.
Amanda Waller is the head of The Task Force X/Suicide Squad Initiative. She is also part of other “organizations” like Agency, Checkmate, A.R.G.U.S, Shadow Fighters, Team 7, The United States Government, and Project Cadmus. Let’s just say she wears many hats.
Recently, Waller has lost several members of Task Force X due to unforeseeable circumstances, including but not limited to: Death, Accidental Drowning, Contract Negotiations, Work-Related Injuries (some fatal) Breach of Contract, and Inappropriate Use of Dangerous Weapons.
You will all be deeply missed.
But what is a loss if not a new opportunity persevering? Wait…that’s the wrong universe! Anyways, with the SSI looking to extort…we mean hire some new talent!, this guide will show you how the esteemed Amanda Waller selects potential victims…we mean candidates for Task Force X. It involves multiple criteria, testing, and questions to decide the right member for the job. This guide can be helpful to those looking to hire new employees or give insight to those applying to a new job.
Criteria 1: Does the candidate have children?
Candidates with children are usually very driven and goal orientated. They will do anything to ensure that their children are provided for and continue to be safe. These candidates take responsibility for everything because they know every action they take directly affects their little ones. Previous employees who fit this criterion were Bloodsport and Deadshot.
Potential candidates that fit this criterion are Thaal Sinestro, Sports Master, and Deathstroke.
Why does he seem so familiar?
Criteria 2: Past Experience with the Justice League members.
Members of Task Force X will have to take on enemies of varying strengths and abilities. Some of these adversaries may even come from outer space. Having experience with Justice League members will show a candidate’s ability to take on difficult tasks, out-of-the-box thinking, and endurance. Previous Task Force X members with experience with the Justice League members include Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Captain Boomerang, Bloodsport, and Killer Croc. Potential candidates that fit this criterion: Lex Luthor, Cheetah, The Joker, and Black Manta.
Are we sure he’s not Black Beetle?
Criteria 3: Unresolved Trauma
While many employers will see trauma as a red flag, we at the Task Force X Initiative feel it is our duty to help those struggling with personal demons. We all struggle sometimes, and that struggle can be hiding an array of potential skills that we can exploit…cultivate to help begin the healing. Our program offers many tools to help our employees overcome their pain and become productive once again. Former Task Force X members with unresolved trauma included Katana, Enchantress, Diablo, Harley Quinn, Polka Dot Man, Ratcatcher 2, and Weasel. Potential Candidates: Mr. Freeze, Chesire, Red Hood, and Blackfire.
Now, that is an outfit!
Criteria 4: A Unique Ability
Task Force X has always prided itself for its diversity! We are a company that strives to celebrate everyone’s uniqueness. Amanda Waller and the rest of our hiring team have a 0 tolerance policy on discrimination. So, no matter how dumb…special your ability is, it is welcomed at SSI. Even if your power affects your physical appearance, please do not hesitate to apply. Former Team Members with unique abilities include Polka Dot Man, Weasel, TDK, Mongal, Slipknot, King Shark, and Ratcatcher 2. Potential Recruits: Solomon Grundy, Captain Cold, Condiment King, and Livewire.
New powers and new hair. We love it!
Criteria 5: Leadership
All members of Task Force X will have to work in teams of varying sizes depending on the mission. Candidates must exhibit exceptional leadership qualities. They must be diplomatic, keep their team focus, enforce comradery, and make sure all missions are successful. And with as few causalities as possible. Previous Leaders included Rick Flagg, Peacemaker, Bloodsport, and Deadshot. Possible Candidates for Leader: Egghead, Zoom, Killer Frost, Brainiac, Bronze Tiger, and Queen of Diamonds.
She also meets Criteria 2 and 4. We’ll definitely be interviewing her soon.
Once a candidate has been chosen based on criteria, they will be scheduled for an interview at our Belle Reve facility. Belle Reve also includes housing accommodations, rehabilitation programs, exercise areas, recreational activities, and intense training!
This member borrowed a book from our well-stocked library.
If Task Force X sounds like the job for you, don’t worry about applying, we will contact you. Seriously.
We hope Amanda Waller’s guide to hiring new employees will help you find the right sucker…we mean person for your business/company.
And remember, if they tell you no…remind them there is an explosive device in their heads.